Q1
So 2014, we were told by anyone with a Tumblr and a passing interest in tech, was going to be the year of the wearable. Technology hanging from some part of our bodies, sensing, syncing and liaising with phones, laptops and cloud services would be more ubiquitous than Will.i.am - who needless to say, now has his own line of wearables pending.
In truth, it hasn't been that breakthrough annus, it's been more like 12 months of phoney war, where wearables have gathered their forces and gone mainstream in certain areas (fitness and, er, well fitness), with specialists such as Withings and Fitbit plus big boys including Google, Motorola, Asus, Sony and Samsung, all launching able and compelling, if compromised, devices.
But we say this with confidence: with Apple set to dive in, the "steady" growth in Android Wear apps, high fashion and high street brands looking for a slice of the wearable cake, 2015 will REALLY be the year of the wearable.
Here's how 2014 set that up…
January
CES 2014 was all a-twitter about wearable tech with companies big and small raising their wearables flag and saluting. Gaming PC chaps Razer announced the Nabu fitness band, which finally went on sale in December.
Pebble grew up a bit with their "Steel" smartwatch which would pair as well with a suit as a free gaming T-shirt. The approach the firm has taken, forging an early path for smart watches, sticking to e-ink to give longer battery life, and remaining OS agnostic, is laudable. Although quite why they let their "Brand Evangelist" go over this less than contentious or revealing interview is beyond us...
MetaWatch (formed from ex-Fossil engineers and a Vertu designer) showed off their premium smartwatch, Garmin its Vivofit fitness tracker and LG its Lifeband Touch.
In focus: wearables in vogue
Intel announced it would be mostly up a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G the fashion industry. Specifically, with a raft of partnerships starting with menswear store Barney's and finishing the year with MICA – 'my intelligent communication accessory' – an haute couture bracelet in snake skin and pearls with social networking, SMS and email notifications.
This year saw fashion make semi-serious forays into the wearables market - or was it the other way around? New York-based fashion designer Diane Von Furstenberg made some really quite pleasing versions of Google Glass, with Oakley and Ray-Ban also taking Google's bitcoins. Ex-Gap and Coach executive Ivy Ross joined the search giants in May to make their tech more fashionable. That's a work in progress – we'll return to this in June.
Market leader Fitbit partnered with designer Tory Burch to encase their Flex tracker into an allegedly lady-pleasing bracelet. We weren't knocked out by the results, but they sold out and can now be found on eBay at inflated prices, so what do we know?
February
Virgin Atlantic trial a meet 'n' greet with First Class passengers using Google Glass, presumably putting info up about each passenger such as "Owns house in Worcester" and "Notoriously picky about how his peanuts are served." Or maybe it was just constantly putting messages in the air crew's eyeline such as, "Keep smiling or you're fired!" and "Be more obsequious!"
We may never know.
HTC join the fray, planning a wearable device by Christmas (we're still waiting for that one). The creepy Narrative Clip is launched, a wearable brooch-like device which takes pictures every 30 seconds.
March
Google launches its watch OS Android Wear with the handsome Moto 360 smartwatch. Intel acquires San Francisco start Basis Science. They specialise in health tracking services and devices, natch. Because, for all the chatter about wearables' limitless possibilities, you have to say that most of the actual "things" released so far are fitness and health trackers.
Panasonic launch a wearable 4K camcorder that looks like it was designed by Tomy and manufactured by ten-year-olds. But hey! Wearables is a broad church. Come one, come all. That's what we say. At least it's not a fitness tracker.
In focus: Facebook bets (a bit of) the house on VR
On March 25 fresh-faced Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg publishes an open letter on his wee site to announce the purchase of Oculus VR, makers of the Oculus Rift virtual reality headset – the deal is inked in for an astonishing $2bn in July. Formerly a successful startup focussing on virtual reality gaming, Zuckerberg intends to, "Make Oculus a platform for many other experiences."
But while we should expect Oculus some time next summer, Sony's commitment to VR appears to be stuttering with their "Project Morpheus" PS4 headset still a way away. At a December press event, PlayStation Europe boss Jim Ryan describes it as, "Still an R&D project." Samsung then surprise everyone by being first to the market in December with their Gear VR. Hey, in the eatables game, if you snooze, you lose…
Q2
April
Bad news! Nike fires majority of their FuelBand team, shuttering the product indefinitely. This was an interesting development, as many in the tech press and beyond saw FuelBand as pre-eminent in the fitness band field. This is largely because Nike marketed FuelBand pretty specifically at men - unlike Fitbit which is asexual, shading into feminine - and most tech journalists are men. I know I am.
To use a farming analogy, Nike will instead henceforth hitch its "wagon" (largely the strength of its brand plus accumulated fitness software nous) to sturdier "tractors" (hardware) made by proper "tractor manufacturers" (tech companies, notably Apple). Got that?
Good news! Amazon launches a dedicated wearable store. Oh, and LeapFrog debuts a fitness tracker for children. Why should adults have all the fun of being hectored about how many steps they've taken in a 24-hour period? Children now take computers, touchscreens and always-on connectivity for granted. Get them used to wearables and this is a market sector with legs. Increasingly fit and sturdy legs, at that.
May
Apple announce the hire Divya Nag, part of a swathe of health tech industry hires. Samsung launch SimBand, a modular reference platform for wearable health sensors. Although 2014's focus is on fitness, more generalised health and (ugh) "wellness" may well end up as a bigger market for wearables in the long run.
In focus: Garmin want to run off with the fitness crown
May was a busy month for Garmin, tipping a toe in the causal fitness band market with the excellent Vivofit, and launching the Forerunner 15, with which they aimed to annex an even bigger slice of the serious fitness aficionados. It's a GPS-toting smartwatch, adding distance, pace, calories and (when a monitor is paired) heart rate. They followed this up in October with the higher end, waterproof, altimeter-packing, GPS-tracking Forerunner 920XT.
By adding heart-rate monitoring to the watch itself rather than requiring a strap-on, TomTom and others have fought back over the course of 2014. Even so, for the serious jogger, there's still been really only one brand to look up in 2014 and that's Garmin.
In focus: LG step up
Enter the Koreans stage left with the LifeBand – a Nike FuelBand-like tracker, only very pretty and with smartwatch features – and Heart Rate Earphones: pulse sensing in-ear cans which play nicely together. Reviews found the LifeBand too "me too", and the Earphones failed to make a splash.
LG also had a stab at Android Wear, with the square G Watch and round-raced G Watch R, with the former turning reviewers cold, but the latter raising a pleased eyebrow from our John McCann. LG, however, is traditionally a fast learner, and will come back next year with better, smarter offerings.
June
Acer launches its Liquid Leap smartband, while Barclaycard launch the astonishingly ugly bPay contactless pay wristband for summer events.
In focus: Google Glass stumbles
It finally went on sale in the UK on June 23 for £1,000 although still officially described as a beta product, but it's hardly been a sterling year for the internet specs. Witness the departure of three key executives, including its "architect" Babak Parviz tootling off to Amazon, a Reuters survey suggesting that nine of the product's 16 biggest app suppliers (including Twitter) have stopped working on the platform due to lack of interest and relatively low sales and US support "Basecamps" closing down.
Bars in San Francisco have banned Glass after assaults on wearers and the ban hammer falls also on cars, cinemas, casinos, hospitals and banks in the US. Regardless, Google is reportedly working on a version 2.0, with chips supplied by Intel and a more flexible platform promised.
Q3
July
LG announced KiZON for kids that's essentially a criminal's ankle tag for tiny wrists. Popular fitness app maker Runtastic launch their Orbit wearable and HP announce collaboration with designer Michael Bastian to make the achingly fashionable Chronowing smartwatch.
August
The Sproutling baby tracker is launched. The Michael J Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research and Intel trial a wearable that analyses patient data in real time. Google's LIftware spoon, which analyses and counteracts the shakes suffered by Parkinson's patients, provides further potential tech relief.
Ralph Lauren launches "Polo Tech" wearable apparel at the US Open. This collects biometric data during sports activity and is used on this occasion to track the health of some of the bellboys and girls.
September
Adidas' FitSmart goes on sale, Samsung announce their Gear VR virtual reality headset, developed in conjunction with Oculus, the Moto 360 hits shops and Misfit Wearables launch the £50 Flash activity tracker.
In focus: Apple finally "launch" their Watch
The clever "crown" was greeted by the sound of palms meeting faces across all rival smartwatch manufacturers, but commentators were otherwise left nonplussed by the safe design amidst an outpouring of general "what's it for?" ennui.
But no matter, Apple reportedly aim to sell 40 million of these pieces in 2015. What are the chances of that?
Now on the one hand, there are millions of compatible iPhones in circulation to ping notifications to, send your heartbeat to and finger scribble messages with, so that seems like a plausible target.
On the other hand, 40 million eclipses the first year of sales of the iPad by 100%, so that seems like an implausible target. Hmm.
As with smartphones, success for both Watch and its well established Android rivals (not forgetting Pebble) could come down to the apps they carry, with devs in their hundreds currently beavering away on both Watch and Wear software, hoping to conclusively answer the aforementioned, "what's it for?" question. But if the software jockeys don't pull that off, will convenient notifications and step counting alone be enough to secure billions in profits for smartwatch-smiths? We seriously doubt it.
Q4 and 2015
October
Dead-eyed, wackily tailored Black Eyes Peas frontman Will.i.am launches his Puls wearable and Nike pop their head above the parapet again, announcing a collaboration with Apple for their Watch. Of course.
In focus: Microsoft
The Windows and Xbox people surprised many by not only announcing their entry into the wearables market with their Band – a fitness wearable, unsurprisingly – but also by chucking it on sale online just days later. Working with the company's own, proprietary Health app, it compiles data from 10 sensors, including a GPS tracker, heart-rate monitor which can calorie count and sleep track, and it's also a pared down smartwatch, pinging notifications of calls, texts, emails and appointments. And it's almost half the price of the entry level Apple Watch. Critics – and customers – however, weren't so easily convinced.
In focus: Fitbit stretch their lead
The market leaders in wearables racked up another strong year, with October seeing the launch of their first smartwatch, the pretty and able Surge. This was alongside the Charge smartband, replacing the ill-fated Force, with none of its skin allergy issues and finally the Charge HR with added heartbeat sensor. The Surge – with GPS, heart rate monitor and step counter, plus caller ID and music control via the touchscreen – positions Fitbit alongside Garmin and chums in the serious fitness tracker space, and should certainly be causing them some concern when it debuts early next year for £199.
November
The Michael Bastian Chronowing goes on sale on online store Gilt, Nixie's wearable camera drone for rock climbers' wrists wins Intel's "Make It Wearable" competition. Smartwatch pioneer Sony's first Android Wear wristable, the SmartWatch 3 hits shops.
In focus: Jawbone's pretty fitness bands go next gen
Jawbone have been making largely excellent fitness trackers since 2011, and they look to be moving the goalposts again with their upgraded "UP" device, the £149 UP3. Packing a tri-axis accelerometer and bioimpedance sensors, as well as skin and ambient temperature sensors and a best-in-class sleep monitor, it's stuffed with more surveillance tech than the CIA. Plus, with anodized aluminium framework and textured rubber, it looks boss and – look away now, Apple, Motorola, Samsung – it'll reportedly run for a week on a single juice. Sadly, manufacturing issues have meant that Santa won't be leaving the UP3 under any trees this year.
December
Withings win hearts across the board with their Activité high end smartwatch, Sony crowdfunds an e-paper face and strapped watch, Microsoft promote a smart bra to combat overeating, Asus's Zenwatch hits the market and after describing the Apple Watch as having, "No sex appeal," and, "designed by a student in their first trimester," luxury Swiss watchmaker TAG Heuer announce plans to get into the smartwatch market in 2015.
In focus: Samsung start the virtual reality age
On sale in America right now and using proprietary tech from Oculus Rift, Samsung have kicked off the virtual reality age with their Gear VR. Requiring a separate Galaxy Note 4 smartphone to work, it's simple, effective and compelling. It just works. Supporting games are plentiful but throwaway, being mostly five-minute experience Android fare, and you get bundled random content like exploring a Mars vista, the bottom of the ocean and major cities, even a few spots in Chernobyl. Also there are some 360˚ videos that take you over New Zealand and New York City. It's utterly awesome, for about an hour, but is a terrific kick start to the virtual reality age. And Samsung got there first. The Gear VR, remember, also sits alongside the Gear S, Gear Circle, Gear 2 and Gear Fit as Samsung's wearable line-up, (whisper it: none of which are setting the sales world on fire).
And in 2015…
It's hard to see past Apple's "spring" launch of the Watch, which is genuinely going to find out if consumers really have an appetite for smartwatches. HTC will enter the market with something, and Android Wear will hope to match the Watch for share in an expanded and energised market.
Battery technology isn't going to magically catch up, so charge-pack makers are going to be rubbing their hands more vigorously than ever. Expect to also see an increase in battery packs in belts, bags and clothing. Wearable solutions for wearable problems…
Although bands and watches will remain the headline products, if wearables are to truly dominate in the new year, brands are going to have to look at other parts of our bodies. Either that or we'll have to start growing more arms…
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